Beyond Childhood

The development of secure attachments is important. As an interventionist and psychologist who has worked with people from all walks of life, including high profile professionals, I know we suffer due to a lack of knowledge in this area. I am a firm supporter of prevention rather than cure, and that is why this book is an essential read.

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Have you ever wondered why you feel unhappy, unfulfilled, or dissatisfied at times with life, even though to others your life is good? Yet for you, you don't feel quite as successful or happy. Sometimes you feel broken but not broken, empty but not sure why. Perhaps you find it difficult to build lasting relationships and experience difficulties in trusting, or opening up to family, friends, and co-workers and do not understand why. This was me until I truly understood attachment theory and the importance of having secure bond.

These were some of the questions my clients and I had faced during my nine years work in the addiction and criminal justice field. It left me with questions as to why people from all walks of life were experiencing similar social difficulties, breakdowns and lots of unhappiness, despite their outward, apparent success. All of us are a product of somebody's child-rearing and care, be it positive or negative. These early experiences of what happened to us are what shapes who we become. Some of us become parents ourselves, and how we care for and relate with our children, is based on the attachment style we develop with our own early childhood experiences. Insecure attachment is a significant factor in mental health development.

Beyond Childhood aims to raise awareness among parents, carers and professionals working with children about the importance of Attachment Bond and Theory. Awareness on how the different attachment bonds can develop and which ones can cause the most difficulties in a child/person's life. The four attachment styles identified by Bowlby and Ainsworth (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised) all have long-term consequences; each manifest differently with individuals whether attention seeking, avoiding rejection or protecting themselves from emotional hurt. It provides examples of how early attachment style continues to impact various areas in adult life such as parenting style, careers, and romantic relationships. It enables readers to identify and become aware of their own attachment style and challenge those beliefs and inner dialogues that impact relationships and parenting. It's at that point an awareness of conscious parenting can start to emerge. It also offers support and advice on how readers can resolve inner conflict and develop secure attachments, even if there are no stable secure relationships currently in their life. Discovering how to build healthy secure attachment bonds with ones self, their child, and other relationships are keys to contentment and success.

Beyond Childhood also explores the importance of fathering, the impacts of parental conflicts and separation can have on a child's life. It emphasises the importance of meeting a child's emotional needs, showing how to avoid separation anxiety to build and maintain secure healthy relationships. It highlights the importance of clear communication, consistency of response towards a child. It identifies potential barriers to building secure attachment bonds that arise from personality differences, preferences, perfection expectation, and overuse of technology, not to mention the impact of single parenthood

Beyond Childhood differs from other books such as Attachment Parenting Creating Loving Attachments. It looks at the deep-rooted needs of a child to feel loved and secure, and for loving bonds in his or her environment. As a mother and a Psychologist (with BSc and MSc), I have worked in the Criminal Justice Field for almost 8 years, specialising in addiction for over 9 years. During my career, I worked with young people and adults; this book is based on both practical and theoretical knowledge. In it we dive deep into the unspoken unconscious dialogues that may be ruining our lives. It brings real issues that are often suppressed to the surface, both from the child and the adult's perspective. More importantly, it offers advice and suggestions on how you can cope and rebuild insecure attachment.

The development of secure attachments is important, especially in a society where there is often a chronic love depravation. As an interventionist and psychologist who has worked with people from all walks of life, including high profile professionals, I know we suffer due to a lack of knowledge in this area. I am a firm supporter of prevention rather than cure, and that is why this book is an essential read.