ONCE (eBook)

The High Cost of Not Living

Timothy Barrett (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2021 | 1. Auflage
90 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-0983-7367-2 (ISBN)

Timely, deeply thoughtful-no better description for the book Once. Its pithy, monosyllabic title rouses a desire to get beyond its beautiful cover and explore. The book's point of departure is the sobering fact that while life may seem a revolving door, it is really a one-way journey. While aspects seem to repeat, they only share similarities with new occurrences, each event or opportunity is unique. Happily, Once insists that we can seize opportunities and possess the ability and right to self-define more than we know or practice. The book offers brilliant and easily accessible ways to a fuller, more rewarding existence. In his own words, author Dr Timothy Barrett makes it clear why he wrote: "e;I have been concerned about people living less than best lives for some time, starting with my own reflection based on the reality that there are no second chances, another chance, maybe, but no repeats."e;Well-worth heeding, Barrett is a physician and trained psychiatrist, a world traveler, former Olympian and intellectual who has written this highly readable and accessible small volume from a deeply personal space: the fount of challenging professional experiences and the courage and honesty to share personal experiences. Attracting international respect, Barrett maintains an active practice and, by invitation, has conducted workshops and participated in professional and government-level conferences on mental health worldwide. "e;These are the times that try men's souls."e; Here are words of the 18th century philosopher Thomas Paine, which perfectly capture the tenor of the angst-ridden, pandemic-weary, "e;what's next"e;- fearful 21st century, which has brought increasing stresses and losses. Even more important, Once is a needful alternative to social media platforms that emphasize overnight fortunes, exempting us from taking responsibility for our lives. Once offers the following pertinent points of Barrett's professional experience and beliefs with faith, humour and an undeniable intelligence and sincerity:Our failure to take advantage of opportunities because we do not call them opportunities;Our penchant for comfort-seeking leading to mediocrity and preventing us from growing and developing into our best selves;Not understanding our uniqueness and therefore self-worth, leading to unfortunate comparisons;We have one chance to live this life, so let's do it to the best of our knowledge and ability;Last but not least, we must remember to never leave God out of the equation. Once is a cheerleader for life more abundant and should stand the test of time. It is not to be missed by people who value life or would like to learn how to do so joyfully.

The Principles

Principle 1

You Must Understand and Respect Time

Whenever I get the opportunity to engage in conversation with anyone, individual or group, I include the discussion of their understanding of time. I usually start the discussion by asking the person or persons to spell time for me. After a few chuckles and a quizzical look or two, they spell time T-I-M-E. I then inform them that I do not spell time the way they do. I also point out that when they spell time in that usual manner (which we all know is correct), it means nothing to them. In fact, many of us are used to expressions involving time that are just casually mentioned without a consideration for the most fundamental unit of life—time. We say things like ‘I’m just killing time’, ‘I had time on my hands’ or ‘I didn’t have enough time’, without ever considering what we are saying. Then I spell time for them the way I would like them to consider time whenever the subject comes up again, L-I-F-E.

I point out that whatever we do is going to require a piece or portion of our life that we cannot get back, a spending or an investment. When we do things repetitively, we are not only spending life, but we are investing life in that activity or process. Since, according to Benjamin Franklin, time equals life, thenshouldn’t we be getting maximum return on our most precious, priceless, irreplaceable resource? I am getting older as I perform this function, and you are getting older as you read. This is not to be pondered with any sense of weight or distress but with an acute awareness of the need to reevaluate our attitude to and use of time.

Principle 2

You Must Understand the Power of Your Choice

The single most important attribute and greatest gift that man possesses is free will, the power of choice. How many times have you said or heard people say to you that they did not have enough time, or there is not enough time to do something? In reality, most times, what is being said is that the activity or item was not prioritized, and therefore did not get done. They did not set aside or assign the time to do it. Yes, we are finite and limited in what can be done in any 24-hour period, but the reason for discussing the power of choice is to remind everyone about what they can control, so that they do not end up sounding like victims of the circumstances. One thing of note: It is important to distinguish decision from choice. They are not one and the same. A decision takes place in the mental arena (mind) and when an action takes place, that is the choice. For example, when you are going to bed, you may decide that you are going to wake up early the next morning and exercise, but when next morning the alarm goes off, you choose to stay in bed and not exercise. All choices are actions and all actions have consequences.

Principle 3

You Must Understand Your Human Limitations and Finiteness

Everything about the human existence and condition is limited or finite. We have limited time, energy, wisdom, understanding, emotional capacity, physical ability, resources, etc. Additionally, there is no opportunity for perfection because anything that is of human creation or development has imperfections and, even if we lived for a thousand lifetimes, we would still not know everything about any one thing.

When we describe something as ‘perfect’, what we indicate is that we have found no fault in whatever we are describing. If we approach life from this humble perspective (understanding our limitations), it moves us in the direction of excellence (doing our very best) and allows us to accept imperfections in ourselves and others. The struggle to be perfect is bound to be frustrating for you and everyone around you. This is not to suggest that you cannot have a ‘perfect’ or ideal goal that you are seeking to attain, but you have to bear in mind that even that concept of ‘perfect’ or ideal has its own imperfections due to our human limitations.

Principle 4

You Must Understand that Everything Involves a Process

In our world today, with all our brilliant technological advances and the ability to do things ‘instantly’, there is a side effect of all this brilliance that has crept up on us insidiously. It concerns our not understanding or allowing for the passage of time for things to progress through a process. Additionally, there is so much focus on the gap (gap analysis) between where we are and where we want to be that an unpleasant tension develops, which becomes a distraction and slows down our rate of progress. In the gap analysis, the ideal is brought into the same timeframe as the real, which will always produce a negative disparity. The solution is to keep the ideal (goal) in the realm of the future, so that you remove the negative tension, and you are able to focus on the present (real) with positive enthusiasm. Keep your goal (ideal) in mind but put your focus on and energies into the task at hand (real). I often point out to people that NASA had to blow up a lot of rockets before they could get one to go up. Try, fail, learn—That is the key to growth and development!

Principle 5

You Must Develop Self as a Priority

The only constant is change. We hear that so many times and we say it so often in conversation but how many times do we apply the principle not only to the things that we do and the interactions that we have but also to ourselves and our own growth and development? Whether you believe in creation (Intelligent Design) or not, mankind is at the pinnacle of the process. Our ability to direct self and to alter that direction with self-awareness and introspection is unique in the animal kingdom. With that ability comes the responsibility to take charge of the pace and direction of our personal development, so that we can optimize our gifts and talents with the limited time that we have. Again, we have one opportunity to do this, and an opportunity missed is an opportunity lost.

Principle 6

You Must Understand that All Events Are Opportunities

Our narrow definitions defeat us on many occasions. The things we label opportunities, we embrace and, if we take advantage of them in a timely fashion and put all our efforts and resources into the process, we often get the best results. But how about the situations, interactions, events that we did not label opportunities? They still occupied a unit of time which is a unit or chunk of our life, so they have to be accounted for. Did we refer to them negatively as setbacks, frustrations, obstacles, bad luck, etc.? And then what did we do? Too often, we allowed the negative spillover from that interaction to influence our decisions and choices, at least in the short term, with regrets to follow. I suggest that all events in our lives are opportunities for learning, growth, reflection and development. Once something has happened it is a ‘fait accompli’, it is done and cannot be undone, it is a historical fact. How did we react, how did we respond, and what can we learn about the situation and ourselves? That is the important process that needs to be ongoing, so that we can take advantage of every event/opportunity. Commit to living a regret-free life. I did not say remorse free, our imperfections are going to guarantee that there are things we do that we are sorry for. However, once you have considered and made your choice, take responsibility for it without regret.

Principle 7

You Must Understand that Whatever Affects You Does so Because of Your Labels

When an event occurs, and we have a reaction to it, the reaction tells us about who we are and very little or nothing about what the event is. The reactions are directly related to our labels. This will be dealt with in great detail when we talk about ‘living and our emotions’, but the principle needs to be established, so that we start the process of becoming more directive and less reactive in our journey through life.

Principle 8

You Must Understand that Even if You Lived 1000 Lifetimes You Would Never Know Everything about Any One Thing

I never cease to be amazed at the people who know (something) with absolute certainty, and who then want to convince everybody else that, if they disagree with them, then they are wrong. This can happen anywhere from the school playground, to big and small businesses, to governmental institutions and organizations, within families and, all too often, in relationships (intimate), increasing the chances of wreaking havoc when it is discovered that what was thought to be absolutely right was wrong. It is not possible for things that are conceptual or perceptual to produce agreement among people that is identical or accurate, line by line, and item by item. There can only be a good approximation of an understanding. There is always more to know, more to understand and humility helps us to accept that and continue the search. Dogmatic attitudes and approaches in any situation make us rigid, inflexible and unyielding and imprisons us in the dreaded prison of ignorance. Unfortunately, in the prison of ignorance we take the key inside with us, so that no one from the outside can rescue us or set us free.

Principle 9

You Must Understand that Your Beliefs Influence Your Attitudes and Behavior

Attitudes are likes and dislikes, opinions we have about people, places, things and events. They may be indicated by our behavior but, in order to understand someone’s attitude in relation to...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	4.5.2021
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Esoterik / Spiritualität
ISBN-10	1-0983-7367-7 / 1098373677
ISBN-13	978-1-0983-7367-2 / 9781098373672

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