Divorcing the House

Laurel Starks is the country's foremost divorce real estate expert. She is a divorce real estate specialist and founder of the Divorce Real Estate Institute. Trained in both mediation and collaborative divorce methods, she speaks frequently on real estate and divorce issues to legal and alternative dispute resolution groups. A former host of the talk radio program Real Estate Matters, Starks also serves as an expert witness in real estate matters related to divorce cases, including the mishandling of procedural aspects therein. She handles the sale of real property in family law cases, and is one of the top producing realtors in the nation. Laurel lives with her husband and two sons in Southern California.

1. When Reality Hits For some, it's a moment of relief; for others, a time of deep regret. But every divorcing person will feel the impact of their breakup sometime during the process. Laurel Starks describes the experience from the vantage point of a real estate professional who has helped hundreds of clients navigate through it. It's important to acknowledge this moment as a starting point for the difficult but positive changes that can follow. 2. Married to the Mortgage Many people don't realize that a home loan is binding on all the signing parties until it's paid off. Even when one partner "signs over" the house to the other, they may both find that they're married to the mortgage. This chapter explains the legal landscape divorcing homeowners enter, and provides practical ways to escape it. 3. To Sell, or Not to Sell? The decision to sell the family home is a weighty one, fraught with emotion and unanticipated challenges. Often the first impulse is to keep the home for the sake of the kids, or to maintain stability. But is it better to sell anyway, to make a clean start? Can the remaining spouse maintain the payments--or the house itself? Laurel breaks down the issues that all parties must consider before they make this crucial decision. 4. What's Your House Worth, Anyway? When homeowners decide to sell, they often have unrealistic ideas of their homes' value. They may even have made plans based on proceeds that will never materialize. This chapter explains how to obtain an accurate property valuation, and the elements that go into it. 5. The Emotion Factor During a breakup, emotions run high. At the same time, decisions are being thrust on the divorcing parties that require utmost care and attention. That makes for a dangerous mix. Using real-life examples, Laurel describes the negative role emotions can play in the decision-making process, and shares tactics that can minimize their destructive impact. 6. Concerning the Kids Breakups are much more difficult and complex when there are children involved. Every decision must be made with their welfare in mind. But what really is best for the kids? Often, it's not what we think. Laurel draws on the observations of therapists and child psychologists to raise important questions, and provide answers. 7. When There's No Equity to Divide When the proceeds from a sale don't cover the amount owed, a homeowner must seek the bank's approval for a short sale. This is one of the most complex and treacherous transactions any homeowner can undertake. Laurel Starks is a short sale expert who actually trains other agents on how to complete them successfully. In this chapter, she offers a crash course for homeowners. 8. In the Courtroom Some divorces go all the way to trial, and few people are prepared for what they encounter in that foreign environment. Drawing on Laurel's experience, and that of judges and attorneys, this chapter provides a guide for what to expect, with advice on how to avoid common pitfalls. 9. Peaceable Alternatives Divorce doesn't have to be a no-holds-barred brawl. There are alternatives to litigation that can leave the dignity and finances of both parties intact. These options include mediation and collaborative divorce. With insight from trained mediators and collaborative divorce professionals, Laurel--herself a trained mediator--describes the benefits of these processes and how they work. 10. The Uncooperative Spouse When one party doesn't want to split up, it makes a difficult process much more troublesome. When that party is bent on revenge, it can sabotage the entire proceeding and make life miserable for everyone. An unwilling partner may refuse to leave the house, make it unavailable for showings, refuse to sign essential documents, or simply disappear. This chapter confronts these unhappy prospects directly, with advice on how to cope with each one. 11. Getting Untangled Whether you've been married a month or 30 years, your life has become enmeshed with that of another person, in ways you may not even realize. This chapter offers a comprehensive look at the many areas you'll need to consider as you disengage. 12. Landing On Your Feet Anyone enduring a breakup needs to hear these words: You will get through it! The traumatic mess you're now enduring will end, and ultimately it will only represent a small segment of your life. You've got a lot to look forward to. Divorcing the House ends with a message of positive reinforcement, leavened with practical steps on rebuilding.