I. The Dope

A field of yellow and pink flowers was spread out before me for miles in all directions. This is my favorite place, a place away from everyone, there’s nothing here to bother me. It reminds me of spring, my favorite time of the year… How I wish it was spring…

“Roxy…”

The scent of the flowers is both intoxicating and yet, oddly comforting. Across the way, there’s a white cat playing in the pink flowers. I wonder if cats ever worry about their hair getting painted that way, I wonder if they care. I bet they do it deliberately.

“Roxy.”

Cats seem so carefree; I wonder what it’s up to? Lets go see. A warm breeze is blowing through the field, the perfect temperature for this time of year, the perfect time to be playing in a field like this cat. Upon sitting next to my furry little friend, they look up at me. Their eyes perfect heterochromatic diamonds.

I say to the cat, “Hello there! Don’t mind me, I’m just here to enjoy the flowers too!”

Its eyes pull me in closer. Maybe this is my spirit animal, or my protector? In history class we learned about all kinds of cat spirits like that.

Then it opened its mouth, and spoke.

“Roxy! Wake up!”

Huh?

“Roxy, are you in there? Class is already over! We’re gonna have to wait in line if we don’t get going now!”

And just like that, I was back in the real world, this world.

Looking up at the clock, they were right, both hands telling me it was the end of the school day. Another dark day almost over.

Wait a minute, what were they just talking about? Late for what? Oh, right…

I could feel the knot in my stomach as soon as I realized where they wanted me to go. Maybe I’m just overthinking it, maybe they want to go to the—

“We’re gonna stop by the new DopaDream place! You haven’t been right? You have to go, come on!”

Yup, that is where they wanted me to go.

“I—I don’t know, I mean, does it hurt? I saw a news thing where they talked to people who had used it and, it’s just scary is all.”

I really, really, really do not want to go.

But before I even get my bag slung around my back, my friends are whisking me off towards this place. Not like I really wanted to go home anyway, I never want to go home, but I don’t want to go here either.

We have to walk through the cold fall air and a not-so-nice part of town I’ve only ever driven by, I’ll be an icicle before I get there. Could it really be all that bad? Probably not, I’m probably just scaring myself.

After a brisk 45-minute walk, the three of us find ourselves in front of the building. It towered over the long abandoned shops in the adjacent lots like a cutting-edge castle. The logo was like a dragon, or the crest of a demon, with its sharp points and tail branded against the ghost white walls. Perhaps it was the freezing air around me, but my blood began to ice over at the sight of that futuristic symbol of sin. With a quick turn I started to move in the opposite direction as fast as my feet would let me, when out of nowhere, a pair of hands grabbed me and stopped me dead in place.

“Oh sorry Mister I—”

The man held me firmly but his demeanor was completely different than what I expected, he seemed…happy, joyous even. His hands were chilled to the bone, but he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, blissfully ignorant of the autumn around him.

Then I saw his eyes.

He was a Dope.

That’s what I heard they were called when the news talked about them. These people who were regulars of DopaDream were always happy and smiling. They never got mad or got into fights either. But when you looked in their eyes, it was like looking into the hollow center of a tree, nothing was there. They said it was open to all ages yet they only ever showed adults on the news. I don’t know what he saw when I looked into his eyes, but he certainly didn’t see a freezing cold kid who just wanted to get the heck out of there.

“Hey there little lady, it’s alright, I know you’re probably excited to get in there too, but don’t worry.”

A sudden tug at my coat twisted me back around to two red-faced girls with pouting scowls.

“Jeez Roxy you’re embarrassing us, just calm down alright!”

At that point the last thing I wanted to hear was a lecture from anybody. As I went to yell the line started moving again, and I ate my anxiety.

The inside of the place looked like a doctor’s office. Our line went from single file to two separate lines against each wall. One sign read “Returning” the other one said “New User”, beyond them they took you into two different rooms. Sheepishly, I followed behind my two friends, who were giddily talking among themselves about how great it was going to be.

What have I gotten myself into?

In the waiting room, we saw a large screen against the wall, and opposite that was a row of seats. There was a stack of papers, pens, and small clipboards for us to write on, on a table directly in front of the chairs. I thought we were just gonna get whatever this stuff is and go on but I guess this makes more sense.

-Name:

Roxy Caldwell

-Height:

Uh…

4ft.

-Weight:

Sheesh, is this really necessary? Alright.

90lbs.

-What is it that makes you happy?

Happy… What is it that makes me happy…

The question to end all questions, and I’m supposed to know what that is? I don’t even know what I want for dinner! A lot of things would make me happy, getting my braces removed, getting out of school, not being here, not being home, not being anywhere really…

These can’t be the only three questions on the paper, right? I flip over the paper, but it’s blank, that’s all there is, just these three simple questions.

“Roxy…”

-What is it that makes you happy?

Spring flowers…and cats!

After finishing this agonizing three sentence question thingy, I notice everybody else just sitting around everywhere. The blood rushes to my face and I try and covertly as possible push the sides of my coat around my face. I guess everybody knows what makes them happy.

“Hey Roxy? You finished right?” my friend eagerly prodded me.

“Yea…” I chirp back, still hidden within my fortress of coat fur.

“What did you put for the last answer?”

“What do you mean what did I put!? You’re supposed to put what you want, this isn’t a test!”

Abruptly cutting off our conversation, the large screen begins to play something.

“Hello, and welcome to DopaDream!” the man on the screen looks like a doctor, his words accentuated by hand gestures at the end of every word, this feels like being back at school.

“If you’re watching this video, then you have decided to take a journey into a new world, a world transformed by what makes you happy, what thrills you, and what will transform your outlook on life, forever.”

Forever… that’s a long time.

“The process is simple and painless, we take this state-of-the-art technology and stimulate this particular part of your brain, and when you wake up, the world you interact with will be what you want it to be.”

The graphic on screen following his words shows some kind of large mechanical arm injecting…

I cover my eyes with my face, a giant needle? Painless!? I doubt it!

What do I do? I want to chicken out, I hate needles! But what if my friends make fun of me? I’ll never be able to go back to school.

My coat became department store camouflage as my vision disappeared deep within the coat. They’ll never find me in here, for sure. An arm reaches out and touches my shoulder, bringing me back to reality. A woman in a blue nurses outfit is standing there.

“Hey there, It’s your turn to go in.”

“What?” I blurt through my armor. Everyone is gone. My internal freak-out must have lasted longer then I thought and time just flew by.

I can’t do it.

I can’t, I just can’t.

What even happened to my friends? Had they gone in already? Oh crap, I don’t want to walk home alone! Why didn’t they tell me they had already gone in?

Before another battle rages in my head, the woman assures me that everything is going to be alright, and ushers me to the corridor. The room in which this is all happening actually looks pretty similar to what was in the video, I think. Everything was the same color, there was a framed picture on the wall, but it was the same color as the walls. That’s kinda weird. Around the table are two chairs, and between those is the machine. The giant scary machine I had seen in the video.

Every time I thought about leaving, about running away, there was a part of me that couldn’t. It was like my body physically would not let me. The thought of turning around now made my feet like lead, but the thought of moving forward kept them moving.

“Just relax, and think about what makes you happy, Roxy, and soon that’s all...