Yesterday, I Was Fine (eBook)

1

“One-hundred twelve thousand three hundred twenty.”

I stopped sucking down my blueberry and oats smoothie and sat on my bed to get a better look at June. We were taking a break from our Harry Potter marathon after only getting through two movies. She sat on the edge of my desk chair. Her perpetually perfect posture was disrupted by her energized, jiggling legs.

“What?” I asked.

“One-hundred twelve thousand three hundred twenty,” she repeated.

I blinked at her.

“Minutes! Which equals one thousand, eight hundred and seventy-two hours. That’s seventy-eight days! Seventy-eight days of not dancing or doing schoolwork or—”

“Being with me?” I went back to consuming my smoothie and grumpily scanned my social media. This would be the last time we hung out for the summer. She was leaving in a few days to go on tour with her boyfriend, Larry. Her parents were against it at first, but her twenty-three year old cousin, Brett, was in the band too and helped convince them to allow her to go. After tonight, June was spending the rest of her time before she left with her mom.

Her legs stopped moving, and she deflated in the chair. “It’s only for the summer, Lou. We’ve spent every summer together since kindergarten. I think we’ll survive this one apart.”

I smiled politely and rubbed my tongue against the roof of my mouth, keeping the brain freeze at bay and trying to stop myself from making any cruel comments about June’s boyfriend. I really didn’t like him. I didn’t understand why she was dating him. They were so different. The biggest difference? He was a loser, and she wasn’t.

I scrolled through more pointless pictures, avoiding eye contact. Her stare was tangible. I knew if I looked up and saw her pitiful eyes and pouting lips, I’d sacrifice all my feelings to ensure she was happy. But right now, I wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to make her stew in this betrayal of our summer together. If she did this next year, during our last summer before college, we’d definitely be having a conversation.

“So,” she said, getting my reluctant attention. “What are you going to do this summer?”

I sighed heavily. “I guess I’ll be hanging out with Austen. A lot. And Edie. But she can be so boring sometimes. Lately, she comes home from work and immediately goes to her room to sleep. I mean, it’s not like working at a pizza place is that exhausting.”

“Is she sick?”

I shrugged. Edie did call in yesterday and today to say she couldn’t be there.”

June nodded her head as she slurped up the rest of her smoothie. I eyed her as she peered into her drink.

“See what you put me through!” I yelled, causing her to almost fall off the chair. “I have to spend the whole summer with Austen and Edie.”

June leveled me with a flat glare. “Austen’s your boyfriend. You’re supposed to enjoy spending time with him.”

I shrugged again and smiled a little at her annoyance.

She picked up her dance magazine. I shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable in the slightly bitter atmosphere.

“Do you think you’ll marry Austen?” June asked as she flipped through her magazine, disinterested.

“I don’t know,” I said. I looked toward June, and she stared at me with pursed lips. Her heart-shaped face attempted to look annoyed, but she only accomplished looking adorable.

“If you’re not in love with him, you should break up.”

Her statement soured her cuteness.

“If you’re in love with him, then—”

“Lou!” she said, annoyed, slamming the magazine on the desk for emphasis.

“I’m kidding,” I laughed, but even I could hear its fakery. “I am in love with him. I’m just….” I looked around the room as if it would offer the right words. Surprisingly, it did when I spotted my college brochures. “I’m seventeen with one year of high school and at least four years of college ahead of me. There’s no telling what will happen after that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with him.”

“Do you think he wants to marry you?” she asked, reopening the magazine.

My mind went blank, unsure how to answer.

“I think he does,” she said as if she could sense my insecurity. “You definitely improve him. Make him a better guy.”

I replied with a hum, not wholly convinced that was grounds for marrying someone.

She examined my expression closely as I internally processed my relationship.

“Have you two had sex?”

My eyes widened.

“I’m going to take that as a no,” she mumbled.

June was about to say something else, but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. I breathed out, grateful for the distraction, and hurried from my bed to the door. I cracked it enough for a head to pop through. Edie pushed it slightly and huffed when I didn’t let her in.

She looked over at June, who waved enthusiastically.

“What’s up, Edie?” I said bluntly.

Edie gave June a brief smile, but it didn’t reach her reddened eyes.

“I was going to go to the store,” she said. “Do you need anything while I’m out?”

“Nope.”

“Ooh! Can we have some chocolate?” June chimed in from behind.

Edie tipped her head to see June better. “There’s chocolate in my hidden candy cabinet. You know which one it is, right Lou?”

I smirked, knowing that “hidden” wasn’t accurate since everyone, including June, knew where the cabinet was in the kitchen.

She started to turn away, but she surprised me as she pushed through the door and hugged me tightly.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” I laughed as I encircled my arms around her automatically.

She didn’t respond, and my hold loosened, waiting for her to let go. I took a deep, aggravated breath, getting a good whiff of her perfume. It reminded me of a golden ballroom, with crystals hanging from the chandelier, really fancy-like. Edie wore this perfume all the time. It seemed to have seeped into her pores. I’d never tell her, but I loved that smell.

“I love you,” she mumbled, nestling a little more into the nook of my neck. I smiled into her shoulder, allowing the power of her perfume and proclamation of love to comfort me. “Love you too, Eeds.”

She finally let go and quickly turned away. She was closing in on the stairs when I shut my door.

I turned back to June, who smiled at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked.

“Chocolate?”

I laughed and pointed to the door. “You know the way.”

“That I do,” she said excitedly, running out of the room.

“I’m starting the next movie!” I yelled down the hall. Instead of waiting for June to return, I let the next movie play.

Seven hours and twenty-three minutes later, I was absently doodling in my sketchbook while June ate her second piece of pizza that Pops brought home for dinner. We were still getting through the marathon, only nearing the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Pops barged into my room, causing June and me to jump. I was about to educate him on a seventeen-year-old girl’s privacy when I saw the crease between his eyebrows.

“Hey, Kiddo, have you heard from your sister yet?” He asked, a little strained.

“Is she not back?” I mumbled.

He shook his head before giving a stiff smile and retreating.

I pulled out my phone to check if she had messaged me. There was nothing. I got up to follow Pops, but suddenly he was back. We both stalled. He blinked before looking at my best friend.

“June, I think you need to go home.”

The next twenty minutes were a swirl of confusion. I was petitioning for June to stay. Aunt Cora hurried to the house and began making phone calls. My brother Joe showed up after an urgent call from Mom. It was when Joe arrived an hour and a half later that I started to worry. Something must be wrong to warrant him to be here at midnight.

There were many nights I complained to June about my siblings. The top complaints were Joe’s refusal to recognize Pops as a stepfather and Edie acting out randomly. Sometimes, Edie was highly active and cheerful with everyone and everything. Then she’d skip a college class or two, start vaping again, and be unconcerned as she was getting yelled at. While Edie didn’t always play by the rules, she would’ve let one of us know she was safe. Tonight was a first.

My family was upstairs. I was downstairs, forced into saying goodbye to June. I wanted June to stay as an icy, ominous feeling brushed over me, but I was tired of arguing with my parents.

As I said goodbye to June, I felt my fear creep into anger. I was angry at Edie for not telling anyone where she’d gone. It was easier to be mad at her than the alternative. I kept squeezing my nails into my hand when I thought about her being hurt or dead.

June hugged me. She tightened her hold on me, and I could feel the love she was trying to pass on, but I couldn’t connect with the emotion.

“Let me know when you hear from her.” She let go, and I waved idiotically. I closed the door but watched through the window at the threshold as she walked to her car.

June got into her yellow bug convertible and, after a minute,...