Finding Inner Safety (eBook)

Dr. Nerina Ramlakhan has over 25 years of experience in helping people and organisations thrive by using her unique blend of physiology, psychology, philosophy, professional, and personal insights to create profound shifts in awareness and consciousness. Her work is always practical and she is well-known for sharing 'small things that make a big difference'. Dr. Nerina Ramlakhan is a wellbeing, sleep and energy expert, and motivational speaker who has worked with individuals, organisations, sports professionals and the media for the past two decades. Her passion is for people to live more peaceful, vital, and fulfilling lives in these chaotic times.

Message from the Author ix

Acknowledgements xx

Prologue: Lost and Found xxiii

Introduction: Why Feeling Safe Matters xxix

Part One: The Illusion of Safety 1

1 What Does Feeling Safe Mean? 3

Stuck in Unhelpful Patterns 5

When You Don't Know if You Feel Safe or Not 7

Unconsciously Unsafe 9

Consciously Unsafe 11

Unconsciously Safe 12

Consciously Safe 14

Four Levels of Safety 16

What Does Feeling Safe Mean to You? 20

From Outside In, to Inside Out 20

Part Two: When the Nervous System Is Nervous 25

2 Measuring Un-safety in the Human Laboratory 27

Skewed Measurements 29

A Changing World - Speed, Noise, Demand, Technology 31

3 Your Intelligent Nervous System 35

Introduction to the Key Principles of Safety Science 37

A Day in the Life Of 39

Polyvagal Theory (Viva Las Vagus!) 44

Evolution of Our Nervous System 48

Regulation, Co-regulation, Dysregulation 50

Habituation to Survival - A Nervous System Perspective 52

Sensing Our Inner and Outer World 54

Meanings Matter 58

Social Engagement (and Wearing Masks) 59

All Alone Together 61

Reality Shows and Frozen 'Perfection' 68

Safety in Connection 70

Part Three: Nature Cures 73

4 The Wisdom of Trees 75

Magnificent Brainforests 79

The Tree of Safety 82

The Roots of the Tree of Safety 85

The Trunk of the Tree of Safety - Life Passages 87

The Crown of the Tree of Safety 90

The Real Work 92

5 Going Back to Our Roots 93

Early Beginnings 96

Weakened Roots 99

Where Do You Belong? 105

Different Types of Roots 112

The Tree That Toppled 113

Part Four: Doing the Real Work (of Finding Inner Safety) 119

Practices and Resources 119

Getting Ready to Do the Work - Before You Get Going 119

Practices and Resources Index 125

6 Create More Resources - The Reset 127

What Are Your Energy Levels Right Now? 130

Press the Reset Button 131

Getting Started 135

Feel Resourced - What to Expect 138

7 Aerate the Soil/Soul 139

Compacted Breathing 142

Learn How to Breathe 143

Practice 1: Notice the Breath 149

Practice 2: Take 5 a Day/Morning Practice 151

Practice 3: Sigh it Out 152

8 Return to the Body - Embodiment Work 155

Practice 1: Notice Your Body Awareness 160

Practice 2: Locate Your Trigger Points 161

Practice 3: Feel Joy and Pleasure 163

Practice 4: Sense Your Environment 165

Practice 5: Take a Walk in Nature 167

Practice 6: Jump Back into Your Body - Heel Drops 168

Practice 7: Discover Chi Kung Shaking 170

Practice 8: Find Comfort and Ease 171

9 Can I Show You Who I Am? 175

Practice 1: Identify Your Inner Perfectionist 180

Practice 2: Mirror Work 183

Practice 3: Let it Out! 187

10 Strengthen the Positivity Bias of the Brain 191

Practice 1: Gratitude for the Present Moment 197

Practice 2: Wake up with Gratitude 199

Practice 3: End Your Day with Gratitude 199

Practice 4: Cultivate Appreciation 200

Practice 5: Soak in Pleasure 201

Practice 6: Morning Intention Setting 203

11 Safety in Connection 205

Practice 1: Prepare Your Heart Connection 211

Practice 2: Meditation for Loneliness 212

Practice 3: Deep Support 214

12 Healing Weakened Roots 217

Practice 1: Explore Your Family Tree 219

Practice 2: Tree Meditation Exercise 221

Epilogue: Return Home 225

About the Author 231

Bibliography 233